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Tuesday, November 26, 2013

[Hearthstone] I'm better than you

Have we not met? Oh, you must be in the wrong place then. This place is for winners, like ME. WHO am I? How droll! You must be new. My name is Argent Commander, and I am better than you. How could you not know who I am? Kripparrian, Hafu, Artosis, Noxious, Trump, Reckful, and Day9 do; we had a blast at Blizzcon.

I am in virtually every deck, at least every deck worth playing; not like that charlatan Mind Control who only deems to show itself in Priest decks. No my glorious personage will be found everywhere. Did you miss the Innkeeper Invitational at Blizzcon? That was me in two-third*s of the decks, carrying the day as I always do.
Eyes hurt? My radiance has that effect. (Image from Hearthstone Wiki)
Take a moment to soak in my majesty. Four power, right out of range of both priest removal spells; three toughess, enough that only monsters worth their weight in mana can kill me; charge, because only plebeians wait a turn to attack; and to top it all off Divine Shield protecting me from those pesky enemies. All for a mere six mana. For the same price as one of your Reckless Rocketeers, I can kill two.

Not convinced? What are you, a troll? That Lord of the Arena he just played? I'll bring it down to 1 the moment I drop, and still be alive to mock him. Notice how I just did 4 damage to your opponent? He'll have to hit me twice to stop me from doing it again. I'm a missile, but unlike those rocketeers or wolf riders, I'll still be around to do real work once my target is dead. Rush decks? Oh my friend, they'll have to sacrifice two things to kill my one. I'm eight damage with a better guarantee than any other card in the game can give.

Well you've wasted enough of my time, a player needs my services. Oh how they can't life without me. Nerf? Silly child, what would they do? A power or toughness here and there and my mana cost must drop as well. To change a thing is to change the whole. Maybe if I had real competition, but alas that night elf with her healing or that windfury harpy can't match me; hard to windfury when you're dead dearest. No, I'm afraid none can match my versatility.

*14 of 21 decks:

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